I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My life is pants optional.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize