Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
