I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
