I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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