Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
