no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
