Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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