the condom got lost in my hair
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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