i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
