I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
