he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Every concussion has its silver lining
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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