Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
