She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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