tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
