yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize