There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Randomize
