3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
