Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just had sex bonerless
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
