yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
