Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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