Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
