Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
