Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Never underestimate the power of titties
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
