I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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