You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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