she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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