i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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