the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
