is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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