I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
