Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
3 2 1 whiskey
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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