Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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