Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
