I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
