i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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