Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
