he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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