My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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