That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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