i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
