He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it because I queefed?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
