You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
