how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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