Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Randomize