I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need a beard to bite.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
