so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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