i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
third nipple confirmed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
