Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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