Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
