my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize