She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
