I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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