he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
